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When you rearrange the letters in the word ‘ASTRONOMER’, you get ‘MOON STARER’.

theepichumor:

Same goes for DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT,

THE EYES = THEY SEE,

THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS,

DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM,

SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME,

ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET’S RECOUNT,

SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S

THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE,

ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE

and

MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER.

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WAIT BUT THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE:

HOLMES AND WATSON = WOMANLESS AND HOT

4gifs:

Goats playing on an aluminum roof. [video]

4gifs:

Goats playing on an aluminum roof. [video]

thelesserknown221c:

thelesserknown221c:

thelesserknown221c:

I always make air travel fun

the saga continues

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yOU GUYS FUCKIN REBLOG THIS YOU LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA I MADE THESE FOR FUCKIN TUMBLR I SHIT U NOT I HAD PEOPLE STARING AT ME WHILE I TOOK PICTURES OF THE SAFTEY INFORMATION CARD THINKIN I WAS SOME DUMB ASS WEIRDO I DESERVE A REWARD FOR MY HARD WORK i hate you all

banish-the-muggles:

dragimal:

mistletease:

makeshipsnotwar:

eyeslikedust:

thefandomedson:

mage-thing-of-breath:

lodeman:

fairythoughtless:

concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

no you guys dont understand RAPUNZEL IS GERMAN FOR A CERTAIN TYPE OF LETTUCE

I WOULD BE SAD IF PEOPLE DIDN’T KNOW THAT IT WAS A TYPE OF LETTUCE BECAUSE THE STORY OF RAPUNZEL SHE IS LITERALLY NAMED AFTER LETTUCE.

no her name means never give up

NONONONOOOO!!!!!!!! IN THE ORIGINAL STORY RAPUNZEL’S MOM GETS CRAVINGS!!! WHEN SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW, SHE SEES SOME RAPUNZEL, AND IS  LIKE “iF I DONT HAVE SO OF THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW, I WILL CHOKE SOMEONE!” WELL, OF COURSE THE FUCKING GARDEN BELONGS TO A WITCH, BECAUSE NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS AT THE BEGINNING OF A FAIRYTALE! sO, HER HUBBY SNEAKS OVER, AND GETS HER SOME.THEN, HE GETS CAUGHT, AND IN PUNISHMENT, HE HAS TO GIVE UP HIS BABY WHEN SHE’S BORN. sO THE WITCH LOCKS HER IN A TOWER, AND NAMES HER RAPUNZEL AFTER THE FUCKING LETTUCE. I DON’T KNOW WHERE YOU GET THE IDEA THAT HER NAME MEANS NEVER GIVE UP, BUT IT’S WRONG . FUCKITY BYE!

IT MEANS NE\/ER GI\/E UP.

Well her mother never did give up on that fucking lettuce did she

I WATCHED A CARTOON OF RAPUNZEL WHEN I WAS REALLY SMALL AND I’M 98% SURE IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH LETTUCE

buT GUYS

what just happened

Summary of Romeo and Juliet
  • romeo:

    im so sad

  • romeo:

    ill never be happy

  • romeo:

    a party sure why not ill just sulk around an- WOAH

  • romeo:

    WHO DAT

  • romeo:

    SHE GOT DA BOOTY

  • romeo:

    imma dance with her

  • romeo:

    *dancin wit teh juliet*

  • juliet:

    dafuq are you

  • romeo:

    shh *kiss*

  • juliet:

    :oo

  • *party over*

  • romeo:

    AYYY LOOK I FOUND DAT LADY'S HOUSE

  • romeo:

    LADY

  • romeo:

    HEY LADY

  • juliet:

    OMG HI I REMEMBER YOU

  • romeo:

    yeah its me hey wanna get married

  • juliet:

    dont you think its too soon

  • romeo:

    idk

  • juliet:

    brb

  • romeo:

    k

  • juliet:

    HEY YEAH LETS GET MARRIED TOMORROW

  • romeo:

    AWW YEAH I BET THIS PUTS ME ABOVE MERCUTIO AND BENVOLIO IN MAN POINTS

  • *next day*

  • rome and juli:

    FRIAR MARRY US PLEASE:

  • friar:

    idk and ROMEO WEREN'T YOU JUST SULKING OVER ROSALINE LIKE YESTERDAY

  • romeo:

    yeh

  • friar:

    ok fine ur married

  • rome and juli:

    yaaaay

  • *some time later*

  • tybalt:

    WELL SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND CALL ME A MONTAGUE IS THAT ROMEO

  • mercutio:

    excuse you dont talk bout my friend like that

  • tybalt:

    shut up mercutio *stab*

  • mercutio:

    WAAHAHAH IM DED *he die*

  • romeo:

    hnnn

  • tybalt:

    ....

  • romeo HNNN

  • tybalt:

    ...

  • romeo:

    hnnnHIYAAAA *stab*

  • tybalt:

    oH NO IM DED AHH *he die too*

  • prince:

    ohmygod why did i JUST tell you yesterday about fighting

  • romeo:

    i sorry

  • prince:

    no ur banished

  • romeo:

    HWWHWHHAAAT YOU BANBISHED ME

  • romeo:

    *runs to friar* IMMA KILL MYSELF*

  • friar:

    no i have plan just go to mantua ok

  • romeo:

    k *leaves*

  • juliet:

    FRIAR HELP THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I KNEW FOR LIKE 1 DAY JUST GOT BANISHED IMMA KILL MYSELF

  • friar:

    NO JULIET I HAVE A PLAN you drink this potion you look dead you be put in capulet tomb until you wake up and romeo find you and you run away together

  • juliet:

    ok

  • juliet:

    *goes home and drinks potion*

  • nurse:

    hey juliet rise and shi- OOOH MY GOD LADY CAPULET COME HERE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

  • lady capulet:

    wha- OH NOO OH NO okay lets throw her in the tomb of dead people

  • nurse:

    k

  • juliet:

    *in da tomb* zzZzzZZzzzZ *not actually dead just sleepin*

  • romeo's servant:

    AYY YOO ROMEO I GOTS NEWS FOR YA

  • romeo's servant:

    JULIET'S DEAD

  • romeo:

    WHAT

  • romeo:

    WHAaaAaaaT

  • romeo:

    OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA GO AHEAD AND POISON MYSELF BEFORE LOOKING INTO THE SITUATION AT ALL OR CONTACTING THE FRIAR OR ANYTHING

  • romeo:

    *buys potion*

  • romeo:

    *breaks into the tomb of dead capulet people*

  • romeo:

    oh my god its juliet wow she doesn't even look dead

  • romeo:

    but im sure she is

  • romeo:

    *kiss juliet*

  • romeo:

    *drinks poison*

  • romeo:

    he ded

  • juliet:

    *yawning* YAWWWN oh i can't wait to see my rome- WHAT DAFUQ

  • juliet:

    IT'S ROMEO NEXT TO ME

  • juliet:

    HE DED

  • juliet:

    *grabs sword and stabs herself*

  • oh yeah and romeo also killed Paris in the tomb by the way forgot to add that b/c apparently killing tybalt wasn't enough

  • friar:

    *comes in cell*

  • friar:

    uh oh

  • prince:

    WHAT DIS

  • CAPULET:

    WHAT DIS

  • LADY CAPULET:

    WHAT DIS

  • MONTAGUE:

    WHAT DIS

  • CApULET:

    *strokes montagues face* brother

thatonepleb:

Me trying to finish something important on time:

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